Long time no write…took tons of time off from my favorite hobby more than realized. Truth is though, after Summer ’19 travel I was too caught up in repairing the body from it (bitten by a spider that buried until the ride home, y’all!), caught up in my eldest daughter, Shutterbug having a baby (my Shugah Momma self is LOVING G’Ma life), caught up in visiting with loves through the holidays, caught up between the city home and coastal home, caught up in remodeling, caught up in diabetes, caught up in Metaphysical study, caught up in a Golden Girls cruise ’20, caught up in our world changing, caught up in a plethora of things, TOO caught up in life to slow down and write. I also had no true idea how to get to the direction of where I wanted the blog to go (it was just as hard as getting the nerve up to ride a bicycle again). I no longer cared to share many stories of the crazy that finds me (still finds me when I truly don’t go anywhere, saved for another blog). My desire to put kinder content out there IS stronger. So, I sat in meditation on it, followed a Green Goddess for GUIDANCE in finding my voice with it and so much more, prayed and prayed for days on days (and still do), talked out loud to only a certain two; Chaderiific and the Pelican, journaled…I put in a solid four seasons work because I no longer cared to be seen or heard for what I am not saying or doing.
My intent with this blog is to reintroduce myself. If you’ve been following since MySpace days and expect a certain flare, well, that gal is no longer here…if you are a family member/old friend/no longer a friend following me for that same chatter, well, that gal is no longer here either…I am on my 3-wheeler Phoebe riding in a healthier direction and hoping you follow for that. If you no longer care for my health blog or my words then please do not read…do not follow me on facebook or Instagram…just don’t, you will forever be bummed you don’t get what is being said.
I am 75% changed and only 25% of me you would still probably recognize. This needs to be acknowledged upfront. No misgivings about it, the woman I am becoming I fucking LOVE! There is no more breaking that part of the heart down. The heart has been broken so many times, put it back together and make no mistake-the-stained glass about it the shine is STILL BRIGHT! Like Rose Quartz bright.
I do not sit in the past holding onto sorrows. I am/will always strive to be someone who takes that moment for a lesson to go further on. I still speak in metaphors. I still love reading, reading/writing poetry, music (obsessively), laughing in text or person, roaming cemeteries, staring at the moon, spiritual hygiene, living near water…
…But now I also LOVE to cook, eat healthy (or not, mood depending, ha), I fall in love more and more with aspects of my childhood that have opened me up to the love that comes my way in the Chadlings, their loves, Young Fart Blossom, the most adorable Grand-BABE…I am grateful to have had a childhood full of roaming between the desert and southern country roads alike….it is my favorite root of who I am today. And in this please understand here and now, I have healed my trauma from then. I will not sit in chatter with you about it. I AM HEALED!
I love that gardening is a huge part of my days and that a good bit of travel surrounds around gardening life. The angels and plants that find me in these adventures give me LIFE. Will travel for music, plants, antiques or my other cousin- the fish twin…and the occasional desert dirt needs. I cannot go long without putting my feet on the western ground.
I still entertain and LOVE to throw a good party, just super fucking selective in it.
I will write about my flaws, my health, the mental, the physical, the emotional, sugar spells, travel in relation to health, the gore of relationships, the anger of menopause, but I will no longer write about other’s flaws, gossip, my sexuality, ill content or sex for your storyline lovin’ selves.
My LiveJournal no longer exist so it is time to let Roxanne in Red go.
We can rise each day wanting to put good out there or we can rise each day letting all your narratives you see in me reflect so hard on your mirror it just may break. Don’t break your mirror. That’s bad luck. Let’s just wish each well and find great health in each other.
I am still a woman with a rambling mind.
The Ramblings of an Aging Woman... 