Spring Awakening!

1 year

1 month

3 days

… And a full cycle of seasons to land back here in spring, writing again. Finally!

 

Who knew the process of so many things would be an ordeal to push through. Never had my chakra, zen, yoga, meditation need the attention. Holding compassion, leaning on silence, and breathing was the only medicine to combat the bullshit. [ and maybe a developed addiction to Diet Pepsi]

 

Who knew the writing would stop accept for one journal I burned during the New Year to truly let go of some things. But in that drying up of the pen I still found a way to redirect creativity to give my heart a fair chance to heal. [ and maybe a developed addiction to Netflix]

 

Who knew that the quote about loves not being able to love you at your worst didn’t deserve your best would ever be so fucking true. [ and with that went your words]

 

Who knew, who knew, who knew… well, maybe I knew a little. [my cards, my dreams, all of it wasn’t far off]

 

People show their true colors all the time, we just choose not to see them. Whether it is because our love is that strong or delusional we turn a blind eye to who they really are.

 

People use their words all the time, we just choose not to hear them. Whether it is for fear what being said so maddening true and dealing is an incapable process or the articulation is too deep for those in the shallow end of a dictionary pool.

 

What became noticeable in letting the current float me further away and allowing others to ship another direction from the spirit without much of a fight is that most of us use our words inappropriately and dishonestly never matching the action that left the tongue. And a majority of these relationships seem to be loud, incorrect of what the reality happening had any truth, and with that no longer a fit. It made one zero in on lowering their communication in order to just focus on themselves, their home, their needs, their spirit, their health.

 

I have felt such an immense amount of gratitude in this past year even though it’s level of rough was just that- ROUGH. I love who I am on the other end of it. I love the voice I am finding in relationships that matter most to me. And while the journey is still rough, some days the seas hold waves too high, I have learned to hold zen within when they are calm to withstand when they are not.   We all could benefit from learning to be quiet, letting our spirits become mindful, not be afraid to stretch it out, push ourselves outside the box to do something new, and still hold on to our vintage sugar’d self.